I am headed to the stadium again today. I love the fall and all that it holds: the changing leaves, sweater weather, and football.

My sons all played college football on the offensive line. If you don’t know much about football, bear with me and I’ll explain it.

In some external spaces, this act is forbidden, deemed unacceptable, and even regarded as an act of betrayal.

However, within our inner spaces, this is difficult work with the potential for profound transformation.

A few years ago, I started thinking of possibility. I began to dream of a different world. I dared to imagine life could be different. I was involved a system that taught certainty meant safety, yet in reality, it gave power for a select few and oppression for most.

I entered the system looking for safety after a life altering traumatic event.

I've worn “bleacher buns” for 25 years. I work out my quads springing up from sitting to standing with each whistle and play. I travel thousands of miles to watch the blood, sweat, and tears for football, basketball, volleyball, and lax.

I have heard my fair share of heckling from the other fans. It gets under my skin. I KNOW this about myself and every time I sit in the stands, I prep myself for the taunting messages; a flat, no lipped smile and focus on the game.

It's all part of the game. On and off the field, there is an aura where everything is sport-even the taunting.

Becoming self-aware and emotionally intelligent is not a task we can achieve by ourselves.

We know that 65% of senior-level women do not currently have a mentor or advisor, but 43% of them wish they did. One way to grow is through a “Personal Board of Directors”; folks that have unique strengths, are self-aware, and emotionally intelligent. A few years ago, I fashioned my board. It was more out need than being proactive. I found myself in a tough spot in almost every area of my life. The truth is that I don’t like being needy or asking for help, but I was desperate and found that I couldn’t do life by myself.

I found myself reeling after Brian (not his real name) laid into me about a suggestion I made on project we were both working on. My thoughts alternated between offense and defense as I recalled the situation over and over. I started for the door to let him have it with a tongue thrashing and a finger waving, only to make myself sit down again feeling some weird sense of shame that maybe something was wrong and deficient with me, and my suggestion was really dumb.

David Byrne, lead singer for the Talking Heads said, “Burning Down the House wasn’t about arson. When I wrote the lyrics in 1982, the title phrase was a metaphor for destroying something safe that entrapped you. I envisioned the song as an expression of #liberation, to break free from whatever was holding you back.”

What is holding you back?

How are you entrapped?

What change are you afraid of?

What has you stuck?

Let’s call them powerskills. 71% of employers value emotional intelligence over IQ, reporting that employees with high emotional intelligence are more likely to stay calm under pressure, resolve conflict effectively, and respond to co-workers with empathy.

The Enneagram reaches beyond our behaviors and reaches into our MOTIVATIONS. The #motivation “why” of our behaviors, it is a self-awareness meter on a continuum. Any and every day you show up differently based on your biology, biography, bias, and backstory. (Not to mention how well you slept or your hunger level). Haruki Murakami informs us that, “Body cells replace themselves every month. Even at this very moment. Most everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories.” This is complex stuff. Especially when you apply it to a team and relationships. Basically, we are constantly changing, and the Enneagram assessment honors that.

A friend was telling a story about living overseas. She had reasonably nice accommodations, but occasionally while she was showering, the pilot light would go out on the hot water heater. She had a choice to make, either she would take her soaped-up self, wrapped in a towel to re-light the pilot light, or she would be miserable in a cold shower.

Human behavior is complex. People are complex. Situations are complex. Global work is complex. More and more companies have a distributed work force, making it more difficult than ever to get to know your people and for your people to feel connected.

In the post-pandemic era, personality tests seem to have a new relevance. I use the #Enneagram to identify unique personalities, strengths, talents, blind-spots, and build more self-awareness. This all helps determine who will thrive in which work arrangements and to determine which personality mix can maximize a team’s chance of success.