Daddy’s Money

I've worn “bleacher buns” for 25 years. I work out my quads springing up from sitting to standing with each whistle and play. I travel thousands of miles to watch the blood, sweat, and tears for football, basketball, volleyball, and lax.

I have heard my fair share of heckling from the other fans. It gets under my skin. I KNOW this about myself and every time I sit in the stands, I prep myself for the taunting messages; a flat, no lipped smile and focus on the game.

It's all part of the game. On and off the field, there is an aura where everything is sport-even the taunting.

As a football mom, I attend most of the games. For whatever reason, or perhaps full well knowing by the athletic administration, the opposing team’s parents get seated next to the home team student section. Reeking of alcohol and grilled burgers, the jeering never ceases.

This game was no different; Hawaii v. Stanford. In their sing-song tune and rhythm, there was a lot of trash talking to the tune of:

"We got spirit, yes we do…we got spirit, how ‘bout you?"

"You can’t do that. You can’t do that."

“DA-deez MUN-ee. DA-deez MUN-ee”

This one threw me over the top. I had to let my partner know I was about to give those boys a talking to about their comments. He grabbed by hand and gave a firm, “No way you are going over there." In other words, “if you go over there, I may have to deal with the damage and I don’ t want to get arrested for disorderly conduct."

I wanted to climb through the stands and politely smile, ask their names and personal history, introduce myself and ask for a photo together. I wanted to tell them how clever their cheers were, (flat lipped smiling again) and let them know how motivational their words were (insert sarcasm).

What I wanted to add was, “My son does not play football because of his daddy’s money. He EARNED his scholarship.”

We all know that. College athletic scholarships (apart from a few SAT scandals) are earned through discipline, perseverance, and sweat.

The part that became personal for me was what they were NOT saying: “MOM-meez MUN-ee!”

As a #womensleadershipcoach, who is conscious about gender issues, and #equality, they got me. The #bias is real. Somehow “daddy” is the one who attends the games and provides MUN-ee for their kids?

The student section was not intending to offend me. The issue was deeper. The bias is real. Our culture teaches a distinctive set of behaviors to girls that ultimately sabotage them as adults. Conversely, men expect this behavior. Even my “taking it personally” and not speaking out with the ability to “joke” with the guys is a cultural norm that needs to be changed. I don’t want to be anything other than true to who I am; a kind AND bold, provocative, and challenging voice calling out for equality.

Back at you, young fans in the student section: Why is it that when the players are getting interviewed or have a quick spot on them, that they ALWAYS say, “Thanks mom!”