The importance of mirrors
In both life and work, mirrors are essential. Not the literal ones we glance at daily, but the metaphorical mirrors—the people in our lives who offer us reflections of ourselves. Often, we are so immersed in our own perspectives that we fail to see where our blind spots lie. This is where the mirror of someone else’s perspective becomes invaluable, helping us recognize not only our strengths but also areas where we have opportunities for growth.
Recently, I experienced the power of this kind of mirror in a work situation. I was facing a project issue with my team that I was convinced needed to be resolved in a particular way. I believed so strongly in my approach that I was ready to come in hot to the next meeting and convince everyone—whether they liked it or not—that my solution was the only way forward. In my mind, it was either my way or the highway. But, as I discussed my plan with a colleague before the meeting, I got a wake-up call.
This colleague, someone I trusted and respected, slowed me down. They acted as a mirror, gently holding up a reflection of how I was coming across. They pointed out that while my passion for solving the problem was clear, my approach might not get me the results I desired. Charging into the meeting as a force to be reckoned with wasn’t likely to inspire collaboration or mutual agreement. In fact, it might create resistance.
Instead, they suggested a different strategy: approach my teammates one-on-one before the meeting, listen to their perspectives, and engage them in problem-solving together. This advice was a revelation. I was so focused on getting things done my way that I hadn’t even considered that the solution could be reached through collaboration. My colleague’s feedback helped me realize that my one-sided view of the issue was not going to work.
Armed with this new approach, I reached out to my teammates individually and listened to their concerns and ideas. By the time we got to the meeting, it was no longer about convincing anyone of anything—it was about building on the collective insights we’d already shared. The end result was a solution that worked better than what I had initially planned, and the team felt more invested in the outcome because they had been part of the process from the start.
Why We Need Mirrors
Having a mirror in the form of another person offers us the opportunity to see aspects of ourselves that we might overlook. Here’s why mirrors are so critical to our growth:
Unbiased Perspective: When we're caught up in our own viewpoint, we often can’t see things objectively. Mirrors provide an outside perspective, free from our internal biases. A colleague, mentor, or friend can offer insights that help us see where we may be stuck or limited in our thinking.
Challenge Our Assumptions: Mirrors are essential for challenging assumptions. Often, we think we're right simply because we’ve thought through a problem thoroughly. But others can show us angles we haven’t considered or gently challenge the idea that our way is the only way.
Accountability: A good mirror doesn’t just reflect our strengths—they also help us see where we’re falling short. This accountability is essential for growth. It’s easy to gloss over our weaknesses when we don’t have anyone to point them out.
Encouragement: Sometimes, we need mirrors to show us our strengths. While we might be overly critical of ourselves, others can reflect back our capabilities, reminding us of what we’re doing right.
The Value of Reflection for Teams and Organizations
When we talk about mirrors in the context of teams or organizations, the benefits extend beyond individual growth—they impact the entire team dynamic. Here’s how:
Stronger Collaboration: When individuals on a team act as mirrors for one another, the team becomes more collaborative. People are more willing to share ideas, challenge each other constructively, and work together to find solutions.
Better Decision-Making: Group decisions improve when there is open dialogue and reflection. When people are encouraged to speak up and offer different perspectives, the team is more likely to find innovative and well-rounded solutions.
Increased Trust: When a team is built on mutual reflection and feedback, trust flourishes. Everyone feels valued for their input and knows that their voice will be heard.
Improved Problem Solving: Mirrors help us spot problems before they escalate. When people feel comfortable sharing what they see, potential issues can be addressed early, preventing them from turning into bigger challenges later on.
A Mirror for Strengths and Opportunities
One of the most important things a mirror can do is reflect both our strengths and our opportunities for growth. It’s not just about pointing out where we need improvement; it’s also about helping us recognize what we’re doing well. In my case, my colleague wasn’t just telling me to change my approach—they also affirmed my dedication to solving the problem and my commitment to the team. This balanced feedback helped me feel supported, not criticized.
Embracing the Reflection
Mirrors in life aren’t always comfortable to look at, but they are necessary. Whether it’s a trusted colleague who helps you see where your approach might be flawed, or a friend who reminds you of your strengths, these reflections are key to growth. Without them, we run the risk of staying stuck in our one-sided views, convinced that we’re always right or too afraid to acknowledge where we need to improve.
The next time you find yourself convinced that your way is the only way, take a moment to seek out a mirror. Ask a colleague or a mentor for their perspective. Be open to their reflections, and use what they show you as an opportunity to grow. You might find, as I did, that the solution you come up with together is better than anything you could have achieved alone.
